I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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