it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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