I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
