I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
