it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
