i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
