how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
