You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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