we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
