Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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