A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
