dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
