i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
