so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
