You work out of a Hotel?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
