ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
