i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
