I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
In America we eat man semen.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
