you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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