You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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