Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im holly from the hills drunk
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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