the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
