things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
