Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just gift wrapped bread.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
