Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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