so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
