I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
