No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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