How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize