sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
