do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
