As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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