Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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