Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
