I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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