You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
