I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
