He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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