Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
