OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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