Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
