Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
