My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
handjob tips. give me some.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
