I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
