He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
