is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
