LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
