Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
