strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
