absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
