Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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