Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
